Valentine's Day

I truly believe the Valentine's day was created by some sod named "Robert Valentine" or something along those lines...an executive who worked in HALLMARK many years ago, who now has been given a large stake in the company for creating a day that should be aptly called "pay 3 times more for the same shit...just because". Unfortunately, my other half's a romantic, so i'm slowly attempting (i'm delaying it for as long as i can) to plan and surprise her with a typically (boring in other words) V-Day... complete with Flowers, card, candle lit dinner, gifts, yadda yadda... We'll get there eventually baby!

Here's how we spent VDAY over the last couple of years, which to me was PERFECT!

2008 V-Day: Seaside seafood dinner under the stars!
2009 V-Day: Munchhaus with Vince & Pres.

Not too long ago, i received an email from my girlfriend, asking me to complete "The Great Couple Meme" and a link to a site... i opened the mail, and then closed it again, and calmly forgot about it. (Baby, please forgive me if i get some of the responses wrong, we'll sort it out in the bedroom)

Tell us about the first time you met and your first impression of him/her.
During an event... HOT CHIC!!scchhhhwwwweeeeeeeet! That was the initial impression.. then discovered she's a great person to talk to as we spent countless hours...just talking.

What’s a weird habit or quirk that s/he has?
Constantly checking herself out, wondering if there's something wrong with herself. If you look at her feet, she'll panic and continuously question you about her feet.. "is there something with my feet? stop staring!! whats wrong with my feet???! tell me!!". When actual fact is, you were looking at a coin on the floor...

What makes him/her happy?
Chocolates, food, sweet stuffs, pastries... anything hopelessly romantic.

What makes him/her sad?
Unfortunately, first thing that comes to my mind at the moment is ME. Sad but true, i have a feeling i disappoint and upset her more often than i should really. 2nd thing that comes to mind would probably be her parents, who are less open minded than they should be.

What makes him/her angry?
Most frequently, Me. News of snatch thefts & crime and occasionally her parents.

What excites him/her?
Alot actually! she gets overly excited over topics of discussion that are in-sync with her line of thought at that specific moment...usually about romantic movies, something read somewhere, or someone agreeing with her opinions.

Tell us something funny about him/her:
She's really klutzy!!walks into corners of tables, trips on steps, bumps into people... the list goes on.

What’s s/he like at home?
Boring. Stays in her room... stares at the walls, sleeps, bugs her sister, then sleeps again.

What’s s/he like at work/school?
I think she was a mega-nerd in school - straight A's type student. (boring..)

Describe his/her room.
Haven't seen it, but i think its nice and cosy.

What’s his/her best friend like?
I think she's got a collective of good friends... not too sure if there's a specific best friend really.

Do you know who s/he hates the most?
hmm... nope. Doubt she hates anybody.

Have you met his/her exes?
Haven't met any of her exes, but i've met many of the guy's she's dated and who's hearts she's broken.

Do his/her parents like you?
No. Dad's an accountant and i'm in events... so wadddaya think?
Her parents probably think there are only 4 types of good people in the world; Accountants, Doctors, Engineers, and Lawyers. Anyone else is a BAAAAD MAN.. :P Bah!

What’s the first thing s/he would do or say if s/he fell down and scraped their knee?
She'd quickly jump up, check to make sure nobody saw as her face turns red from embarrassment.... scurries off to where no one can see her, then squirm in pain and start crying like a baby (as in really cry!)

What would s/he do in an emergency situation with other people involved?
She'd panic, scream then probably cry.

Which shop would s/he spend the most time at in a shopping mall?
Forever21 & TopShop.

What would s/he have for a typical breakfast?
Sausages, eggs, toast, coffee.

Where would s/he want to go for dinner?
If she had her way... it would be somewhere fancy with nice decor and romantic ambiance.

What kind of movie would s/he choose at the cinema?
soppy romantic stuff.

Describe his/her taste in music.
Most mainstream genres - love songs, boy band stuff, and acoustic music to the likes of Pete Teo.

If s/he wasnt going out with you, who would s/he be going out with?
Hmmm... probably no one really.I've been told she's a real "hard to get" type girl. And treats boys likes toys.

What item in his/her wardrobe would you like to burn?
Her fashion sense is pretty good. No complaints.

What is s/he good at?
Listening. She's super patient when it comes to listening me go on and on about myself!

What is s/he totally horrible at?
Nothing that i've noticed as yet.

What’s something about him/her that is annoying/infuriating?
The fact that she's old-school when it comes to Valentine's Day, a yearly dismay for me.
Her lack of self-confidence and insecurity borders on psychologically disturbing. I.e:

Jwan: "baby..i'm meeting a friend for yum cha."

EmilyT: "WHO!!?!?! WHERE??!?!?!? WHY???? WHAT FOOOOOOORRRRRRR!!!"

even before i finish my sentence.... it usually ends like this: ".....justin and the boys at Sun Hin Loong." weirdo!

What’s something that you two fundamentally disagree on?
My exquisite, up-to-date, stylish, fashion sense.

What’s something that you two agree whole-heartedly on?
i would have to say her response to this question best sums it up.

Is s/he possessive?
Yes and very insecure too!

Why would s/he succeed in life?
She's an honest, sweet, polite, kind hearted soul. If success is measured as a journey and not a destination, she'll excel in everything she does.

What is the coolest gift that s/he has ever given you?
A scrap book that depicts the moments that dotted our relationship.

What is s/he obsessed with?
She's obsessed with ensuring every item of clothing she buys is a perfect fit and a worthwhile buy. Goes in and out of the changing room, visits the store 5-times to look at a top... and ends up buying nothing!

What does s/he avoid at all costs?
Furry animals and soft toys.

What does s/he spend the most money on?
Clothes.

Describe his/her typical Sunday.
Wakes up at noon or later, gets picked up by me, goes for lunch with me in Village Park, sits around and listens to business/share market/investment/spend money discussions, then back to my house where we usually sleep the day away...

Why would s/he be dangerous?
She has a problem processing and filtering information. Doesn't know when to NOT say or disclose something. the Chinese phrase for it would be "Mm Seng Mok".

Tell us about a time s/he looked absolutely gorgeous:
Honestly, i can't pinpoint "A TIME" cause i truly think she looks gorgeous all the time. Save for the few rare occasions where she didn't spend enough time in front of the mirror.

What’s something about him/her that would surprise all of his/her friends?
She's getting married at age 23!!!

What do you love most about him/her?
The way she looks at me and smiles for no reason. Warms me up every time...

The biggest lesson you have learnt from loving your partner.
Appreciating things. Not taking things for granted all the time. and learning to give and take. life's not just about ME...

So finally, to those of you fools that paid 5-times more for your half-dying full bloomed dozen roses, bad service at a fancy named restaurant, followed by sex that you would've gotten anyway without having to spend a cent...my deepest condolences. Though i have a feeling i shall be joining you all next year. Here's me learning that life isn't always just about me.

EmilyT's response to "The Great Couple Meme"

Faltering...

Pertaining to a discussion amongst friends the other day, i thought it be a good time to share a little on the matter. Hopefully some of the words penned here today would help ignite some thought for some of you...

There are many reasons why someone enters into a relationship, and most (i hope!) expect it to last - maybe even forever. Nothing is perfect in this world though, and over time inevitable flaws will start to surface. From this point forth you may find yourself spending more time and effort conducting relationship repair work more than anything else. To the point you subconsciously structure your life to avoid conflicts with your partner, a behavioral pattern that is occasionally only visible to third parties. A pre-programmed behavior and line of thought engulfs you, constantly living a life not yours in fear of negative repercussions from your partner if you "didn't do this" or "didn't do that". Fact of life; at some point in time, you need to acknowledge and accept the fact that your current relationship no longer suits you. And it is always best to let go early then to struggle and try to salvage something beyond repair.

EVALUATION...

A good relationship begins with one-word; TRUST. Trust is not about disclosing all the details about your ex's and past life, nor about needing to know every little detail about your partner's past relationships. It is simply about BEING HONEST with each other. If you discover your partner being dishonest about her whereabouts OR worse yet, you start or have not been giving her your true honest opinion about anything, it's a bad sign. take note.

Now this part may seem shallow to some but lets face the facts, physical appearance is an important factor in a relationship. Simply because how attracted you are to your partner charts the course of your physical relationship, and truth be told, the physical part of your relationship has everything to do with every other aspect of your relationship. More so if you harbour hopes of a long term relationship. Her round eyes you once thought to be "oh soo cute" now makes her look like a toad, her oversized t-shirts you once thought made her look like a cute lil' kid now makes her look shabby - tell tale signs its going down the gutter. Unless you both live in a cyber world where you never have to meet, you need to take a good look at your partner and simply ask yourself "How hot is she?" Your answer will help you in your evaluation. Be honest to yourself.

Problem evaluation. You need to take the time to assess the frequency of conflict & flammability. Problem is, once you've been in a relationship for a period of time, it'll be difficult for you to be able to evaluate the situation properly. For example, it might be hard to gauge how much fighting is normal. Sporadic arguing and the occasional bouts of screaming fights, is common. But constant nagging and bickering, however, is a sign of serious relationship problems. If you can't get through the week without any exchange of negativity or any conflict, its best you both went your separate ways. Over frequent arguments or heated discussions could be caused by built up resentment towards each other's ceratin attributes or actions - subconciously holding a negative grudge towards each other. Another point to consider is how quickly you get angry, only takes a word or two from her mouth, and you're ready to go to war...

Friends & Family. Think about how your significant other gets along with your family, colleagues and most importantly your friends. Of course, you don't want to keep a girlfriend around just because your family and friends like her. Your friends and family have been with you through numerous relationships, partners have come and gone, but your friends and family have always been there throughout the years. How well your partner gets along with your friends is a crucial role in determining the lifespan of your relationship. It'll take a toll on you when you try to balance 2 lives, evolving around your friends and one with your partner. The world and your life doesn't and cannot be just about the two of you. Bear in mind that your friends and family are the pillars of your life.

Without a doubt every relationship has problems. Try to resolve the problem as soon as it arises, dragging it on or keeping mum to avoid conflict will only compound the hatred and resentment, leading to a potentially disastrous outburst at a later date. Every relationship deserves a thorough evaluation before you decide to bin it though, so take a step back, have a good look, talk to your friends, think, and then you'll have a clear picture if its to be "marital bliss" or straight into the abyss!

- By Jwan Heah, Inspired and guided by Andrew Moore, relationship extraordinaire.

Needy...

Here's some snippets from an article a colleague of mine came across recently from Yahoo! Personals, makes me wonder what he was doing surfing Yahoo! Personals though...
The article written by David Wygant highlights points in courtship and relationships in general that i have been preaching & practicing for years! So, for all the men who are having problems "holding on" to their partners, read and learn. If you're doing the same thing as you've always done in your previous relationships, you're gonna be faced with the same problems again... So i leave you with a quote my mum uses very frequently on me... "For Things to Change, I Must Change First". Try out some of these pointers, you've got nothing to lose.

10 Signs you're being needy:
by David Wygant.

1. You just walked a woman to her door at the end of a date. Instead of kissing her, you ask her if she had a good time. Women are attracted to confident men. They don't want to have to tell you that they had a good time on a date... they want you to be secure enough in yourself to assume that they had a good time.

2. You called a woman last night and she has not yet called you back, so you either email her or call her again to ask her if she received your message. If you want to push her away, this is one of the best ways to get her to quickly run away from you.

3. You start texting a woman you just began dating five or six times a day. You are over-texting her. You don't need to check in every two hours. That's a sign of neediness and clingy behavior that turns women off.

4. You miss a call on your cell phone from a phone number that you don't recognize. You call the woman you're dating, and to whom you talked just two hours before, and ask, "Did you just call me?" This kind of behavior is going to push and scare her away.

5. You agree with everything the woman you're dating says. Women are not looking for a man who agrees with everything they say. Women want a man who challenges them and from whom they can learn. When a man agrees with everything a woman says, he is telling her that he'll do anything to have a relationship (which is another sign of being needy).

6. The woman you're dating is out for the evening with her friends. She promised to call you when she got home. It's getting late and you haven't heard from her. You just can't resist and you call her cell phone several times until she answers it. This is a sign of being needy and insecure. She's out with her friends... not out with another guy. Let her have some personal space and she'll respect you more.

7. You are too available. If you have plans with a friend, keep those plans even if the woman you're dating asks you to do something that night. Women don't want men who are like a 7-Eleven -- convenient and ready 24/7.

8. You try to please a woman all the time. I'm all about men doing nice things for women, but she has to earn it. Some men will let a woman walk all over them, and then continue to be a sponge and allow it over and over again. Stand up for yourself and she'll respect you more. Letting a woman walk all over you is a clear sign to her that you're needy.

9. Don't be afraid to challenge a woman. If you don't agree with something a woman says, don't just sit there and agree with her thinking it's what she wants. Women are looking for someone who is going to stimulate their mind... not bore them. Women are not turned on by men they can completely control.

10. Be the man! Have a plan and stick with it. Women like men who plan out evenings of fun. Don't always ask a woman what she wants to do. Listen to what she likes when you're having conversations with her, then come up with a fun plan that you will already know she'll like. A needy man will do whatever a woman wants. A man of action will create plans for what they will do. Being a man of action will lead her to find you a lot more attractive in the long run.

For the complete article, which i personally recommend.. visit:

http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/81390/10-signs-youre-being-needy

To all the men/boys out there, good luck! on a closing note, i leave you with a quote by David Wygant:

"NOTHING TURNS A WOMEN OFF MORE THAN A GUY WHO IS REALLY NEEDY"